Monday, June 24, 2013

THE 3RD/5TH/7TH WHEEL

Last week I decided to quit/take an indefinite break from online socializing (yea I still refuse to use the term "online dating"). For now, I would rather spend more time with friends I actually know versus forcing myself to get to know a complete stranger. Don't I sound so outgoing?

In doing that, I realized...I am putting myself in the position of being a 3rd/5th/7th, etc wheel. I've planned out a bunch of free/cheap activities around the city this summer and I realized, despite being the coordinator, I will be the lone cheese, essentially. It's a good thing I am already friends with or like the significant others of my friends or else I'd be bringing the rain to my own parade. It's also a good thing I have just about a handful of single friends that I can force/gently coerce into going with me to said activities :)

I'm going to have to get back on that digital dating horse (wow I paint with words I tell you!) someday because I don't want to whine about being single forever and also to spice up this blog a bit. I'm previewing 2 other sites so I'll just wait and see when I have enough cajones/boredom to officially join them.

Meanwhile, here's an article from Refinery29 that single ladies should take a peek at, if only for entertainment.

Monday, June 17, 2013

THAT THING THEY CALL "ONLINE DATING"

I cringe at the term "online dating". I don't have anything against the action itself, but I just hate that term. I think it's also because I sort of dislike the term "dating" but not as much as I dislike the term "seeing each other". Either you want to be with that person or you don't. That is just a nice way of saying "testing them out until I find something better" which is nice way of saying "I don't think they are good enough to be my boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment or ever".

But I digress. On Memorial Day weekend, I was feeling particularly down and sorry for myself because I realized I was spending so much time with my family (I love my family, but as a 28 year old woman, I noticed my social activities were dwindling and was scared that this was a sign of how the rest of my summer would go) and felt kind of like a loser.

So, I decided to do two things I was reluctant to do: watch Game of Thrones (awesome, but I am behind so please no spoilers) and join an "online dating site". I will not name names.

At first, it was actually pretty exciting. It was so easy! Just put some photos up and write about yourself and bam! Watch the messages and compliments flow in. I regularly kept in contact with a handful of them and agreed to meet up with three. So here is how it went:

Guy#1: I agreed to meet up with him because it turns out we went to the same high school (but never encountered one another, as the student population swelled over 4000) so I figured it was safe to meet up with him, plus maybe it would be easy for us to become pals. Long story short, he seemed like a nice guy but we did not click. Well, at least I got that memo, he hasn't as he texted me several times, and tried to add me and 2 other friends on Facebook. How do you gently turn someone down on friendship? Awkward.

Guy#2: I liked that he was tall (6'4?) and intelligent. Sadly, we didn't click, but I think he and I both got the memo so that saved the trouble of having to do the text message shuffle. At one point I asked him if he was either tired or high. Not to be rude, but more to break the ice and also because he really did look tired or high.

Guy#3: He was smart, and had a good sense of humor which were major pluses in my book. And so comes the "however..." part. I did not like the fact that he lied about his height. He was at least 3 inches shorter than his stated profile height. There is nothing wrong with your height, just don't lie about it. Although we clicked the most out of the 3 that I met up with, there were no sparks. Not sure if he got the memo on that but he's smart, he'll figure it out, I'm sure.

The next night, I cancelled my "online dating" account. Though I am not thrilled at being single while my friends are getting hitched left and right, I am not thrilled with the idea of online dating either. My main objective was not to find love (or lust), but to expand my social horizons and hopefully find someone cool to hang out with and see where it progresses. Sadly, most of these guys had other things in mind (no dirty thoughts, or at least not that dirty I don't think?) and we did not connect. It was a disappointing experience but, I'm pretty proud of myself for at least trying. I'm definetley trying to live up to the motto of doing something everday that scares you. Guess I'll have to try another outlet.

Friday, June 14, 2013

POST BREAK-UP

Where the hell have I been for the past 14 months? Wondered nobody.

Well I was in a relationship for a tad over a year, and that ended in March. I care about my ex-boyfriend and respect him so I will not disclose too much. I will say though, I am sad for the life we will never have together but relieved that I can finally admit to myself (and him) that maybe our lives were to only intertwine on a platonic level. I also not-so-secretly think that he should date his best friend's (female) cousin. I have a feeling that will happen before the first crunchy autumn leaf falls to the ground. Like my poetic flow there?

So now I am back here ready to share my terrifically horrfic stories of singlehood. After much hesitation, I joined an online dating site. I hate calling it such because my primary goal is not to date someone off the site, but to meet new people to socialize with. If it turns into something romantic, (surprisingly) great, but if not, I figured I would gain a new friend and date his hot friends (haha, half kidding). However, I don't think most guys think this way; either he gets to do you or he doesn't and if it's the latter, don't try to be his friend since he has plenty of those he can't do.

Stay tuned.